LOUD SOUND and soft action

I've taken to listening to very loud, emotional music. Not 'Emo' music, which has a tendency to get on my nerves and remind me of the Ex, but emotional music that plucks at my heartstrings. It can be techno, classical, pop or one of my genre defying songs. It just has to be loud and touching. Kaskade is one of my current favorites. Deep house with some excellent vocals and that occasional instrumental line that just hits your soul.

Reality has simplified itself in unexpected but not unpleasant ways. I get to keep a good friend and maybe gain something more for my month of hyperdrama. And I've been keeping myself busy with lots of design work in my lighting class. Which is why I've been listening to loud music.

We have a project in which we have to come up with a creative lighting show for a simple object accompanied by music. So I've been playing my music very loudly in the theater to get a feel for how the songs will sound in the space. The choice of songs has more to do with my still stabilizing mental state but the project is going really well so I'm not complaining.

Light is an interesting medium to work with. In this project, I find the artistry is more defined by my use of shadow rather than actual light. The song I picked, “Key of the Twilight” by my favorite Japanese composer, Yuki Kajiura, sort of dictated that shadows would play an important role in the piece but the more I messed around with the lights, the more it became clear that while my object was interesting, it was really much more interesting to see what really intense shadows could make it. I'm using a large picture book with some excellent illustrations and I have it opened so that you can see two pages depending on which side of the centerline you're sitting on. But when the back light comes up, you can't see any of the pictures anymore and the book is transformed into a chevron-shape that resembles a door. The effect is wonderful.

In life too, I'm finding things are becoming defined by what I'm not doing rather then the direct effort put into them. After trying to make a relationship work for a few weeks, it turns out that by giving up on it, I moved it to an entirely new place. It struck me that direct force is often not the solution to problems. Rather, you should apply some force, then step back and observe the results. Sometimes giving up is the best solution, in that it removes intensity from situations.

Fundamentally, life is a game of opposing forces and powers. If you keep pushing at someone who's pushing back at you, you'll never get anywhere. And if you're pushing at someone who's stopped pushing, you'll run them over. So take that moment and just let things happen. Sometimes, everything just turns out right.

Muah!
Lyrinoir

A Poem

Well, it's getting put up everywhere else so it might as well go up here.

A Poem

6:40 AM

Siting outside at 6:40 AM
Sky suffused with gentle gray clouds
dripping wet tears.

I sit alone and not alone.
There is a woman next to me but she is
silent and reserved.
I make a comment on her timeless beauty
but she remains
silent and reserved.

Rebuked, I start to recite.
Not anything so formal as a poem
or strict as prose.
A mind's worth of ideas and thoughts poured
forth in an hour. Each concept falling on hard
ears as the raindrops splash on the concrete.

Distant, people stare at the two of us,
silent and loud, standing and sitting in
the rain as it washes away the traces of
what was said. I feel an echo in the
paths beneath my feet and stop
talking long enough to listen to the sounds
of history in the ground.

Tens of thousands of footsteps can be
heard across the landscape, each
echoed by a raindrop. “In an hour, as many
drops as footsteps,” I note to my silent companion.
And she remains.

I take to weeping as I have not done
in years. The tears fall down my face
not in sorrow, not in joy. I cry with the
sky.

In my heart, I am sitting with a woman
made of bronze, on a plinth. And I am thinking
about the things that I love and the things
I have lost. And knowing that she has seen
everything with unblinking eyes.

Muah!
Lyrinoir